Love and the "Spark"

People - mostly women - love to use the term "spark" for describing if they are attracted "romantically" to someone else or not.  It is s terms most often say they cannot described what it is - but they know it when it happens.

If you did not start reading this series  from you should go there to start the reading

It is a term of BS - there is no such thing as a "spark" for things in "persona" - on the TV show "First Dates - Ireland" the show sometimes begins with "quick-cutting" around quotes others have said about how people fall in like, love or are attracted to someone else.

One woman said "Men fall in love with eir eyes, and woman fall in love with their ears" - before the clip cut away someone else says "I don't - agree - I  know about that"  The fact is it is a combination of what they believe is a pleasing physical appearance and  pheromones and hormones in both sexes as to whether in the end they want to have sex and offspring with each other..  There was guy on  First  Dates (also a TV show)  who revealed on his first  "blind date" he had recently as an adult been diagnosed with ADHD - also known by those  who know as basically  "autism" - and the antlers went up on the female - and his chances were over - and the poor fool on International TV never knew what hit him.

Reality TV - it is a window into the struggles of and dumb thoughts of others.

Well that statement tells volumes about the prejudice - perceived and real - often faced when meeting another person.

it is true largely men are dumbly and stupid in infatuation and attraction when they see a "pretty face" or "pretty woman" in their eyes - and it is true a good looking female is prejudicial to hearing anything a man is going to say in approached her - as she has heard lots of "line" before.  But an average looking female is one who might not be so picky - especially if she is approached by what she perceives is s good looking man - or female - which ever the preference is these days.

The truth is the "spark" is a chemical; occurrence in the brain upon the senses activated in a stimulating way as perceived.

There are four major chemicals in the brain that influence our happiness (DOSE):

  1. Dopamine
  2. Oxytocin
  3. Serotonin
  4. Endorphins.

Oxytocin is the neurochemical that has allowed us to become social creatures. It makes us feel empathy which helps us feel close and bonded to others when it’s released.  Oxytocin is actually NOT your friend.  It is the "nosey" hormone.  It makes you want to be "social" and this is in detriment to the brain actually learning things of actual factual value worth storing for later recall.  It is one which can make you remember something differently than actually occurred.  There are several articles about the web on "Why you can't trust yourself" like this one => and in conjunction with Oxytocin studies where actual doses are given, the mixed results show it to be an unreliable manipulation hormone of the brain.  It also makes you basically "nosey" and causes you to run into scenarios that are a bad idea to want to find out more or help someone in a dangerous scenario.  It has gotten a lot of people killed when they just won't leave lone something dangerous.

If you’re in a good mood, you’ve got serotonin to thank. And if you’re in a bad mood, you’ve got serotonin to blame. It’s a regulator. Interestingly, and 80 percent of serotonin exists in the gut, and is governed by your state of hunger (yes, this is why you’re what call is hangry).

Endorphins are responsible for masking pain or discomfort, which explains their association with the “fight or flight” response. When it comes to designing happiness, endorphins help you “power through.” Nicole, for example, is an avid runner. Endorphins allow her to push farther and harder as she works towards distance goals.

Dopamine is the drug addiction and adrenaline junkie hormone.

What triggers an increase or decrease of these chemicals is what we are creatures are seeking to accomplish.

NONE of them should be sought out - and the release of any of them is a trick on your well being.  You do not have to feel good to be alive - unless you have taught yourself to believe that by past experiences or by others.  In fact the more even keeled and low does these hormone releases are the better off you and your physiological body will be.

if a female sees a person not particularly attractive to her, so no amount of serotonin and dopamine can be triggered to change her view unless over time somethings happen to her benefit which supersede the "view" iof the man, like he helps her a lot with difficult things and "takes care of her" - which is why most men think like if they can just get her into "the sack" and get some good sex under her belt things will change.  Usually they will.becasue As you reach orgasm, your hypothalamus goes into overdrive, preparing your body for that feel-good orgasm,"  "There's a release of oxytocin and increases in dopamine as the vaginal walls start to contract." In fact, oxytocin wipes out cortisol, the major stress hormone.

Dopamine's reputation centers around its reputation as the “feel-good hormone.” Dopamine is associated with feelings of euphoria, bliss, motivation, and concentration, yet there’s more to it than that.

Like serotonin, dopamine is a type of brain chemical called a neurotransmitter. Released by neurons (brain cells), neurotransmitters control myriad body functions and transmit signals from the brain to the body by passing across small gaps (called synapses) between each neuron.

Dopamine is involved in many pathways in the brain, playing an important role in a range of body systems as well as functions, including movement, sleep, learning, mood, memory, and attention. So, obviously, it’s a key chemical. Inadequate or imbalanced levels of dopamine can play a part in multiple conditions, including depression

Together these chemicals create desirable brain states and keep people coming back,  Experiences that release the DOSE neurochemicals make us happy, which makes us want more of the same.

So the "spark" is infatuation - wanting to think if they can see  themselves in a position to reach the ultimate "high" - as an orgasm.

It seems ridiculous - but the primal urges control our brains  because we LET them.  Mankind has not sought to control urges in favor of intellect

In fact Mankind's society now surrounds and focuses on sex - so much so one has wonder if earth were ever attacked by an Alien species - or an Earthbound catastrophe were to occur like the eruption of Yellowstone, would anyone have a sufficiently developed  enough critically thinking brain to do more than just stand there and scream oh my god oh my god.  

The brain craves feeling good, it is true, but there are ways to feel good that involve learning to actually think and logically reason out problems and solve them.

It is what drives many people who love puzzles, and it also drives conniving con artists. 

BUT - the "spark" - seriously - it is a poor excuse for existence because it involves being someone who wants to get someone else to like them as much as they like the other person - ON SIGHT.  It is shallow use of the brain.

it involves being muscle bound, make up, doing hair, dressing stylish and inside the brain - all the lights could be on and no body is home.  You see this in athletes and body builders and those types who follow that crew - an then they go get into a car they have usually no clue how to maintain and repair that they actually depend on/

So how long does the "spark" last when the going gets tough and things needs to be thought of and actual decision be made to accomplish a solution.

What is wrong with man kind is as much as we want to think otherwise - we till have a primate brain - and can simply speak because humans have vocal cords in a position in their throats which allow them to do so.

it does not make mankind intelligent - just more social which can either be a good thing or war mongering creature trying to control others.

The real "spark" should be genetics and IQ - because breeding diseases and those with brains that are of low ability is just not good - which in the pet would we call the "runts" of the litter.

If there was only a dating site that had profiles of good genetics and high IQ persons.  Well there is - just not together aiming at romance and reproduction - YET.  After all we really fall for the best versions of ourselves - if we well balanced - and that is rare..

Mankind needs to learn more about itself - and learn to combat instinct which is so destructive 

That "spark" is burning down Mankind

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